Mom refuses to let dad of a 7-year-old and 8-month-old twins go on a solo trip without the rest of the family: 'I’m working, we don’t have full time child care, and it’s honestly just a lot with the 3 kids'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 20, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Once you become a parent, a lot of your freedom gets swallowed up. As a single person, I could hypothetically take a year off from all my responsibilities and travel the world, and it wouldn't significantly impact anyone other than me. Sure, I'd have to save up and find someone to sublet my room for the last months of the lease, but if I could swing both of those things, I could do it! If I had a spouse or a baby, it would be virtually impossible for me to travel and do as I please whenever and wherever I want. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it's beneficial to impose restrictions on yourself. Every season of life has different levels of freedom, and it's good that you don't have the same freedom you have at 30 when you're 13. While taking on more responsibility can be fulfilling, there's always the temptation to escape it. 

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  • 01

    AITA: I said no to my husband taking a solo trip

    AITA? I am a mom of 3 - a 7 year old girl and 8 month old twin boys. I work a 9-5 corporate job. My husband is a teacher and obviously has summers off. Last summer, while I was pregnant, I let my husband go on a solo trip to the Bahamas. I travel for work
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325

  • The parents in this story don't really have room to go on solo vacations. The dad is serving as childcare during the summer since he's off from his teaching job, and the mom is incredibly occupied at work after having two babies at once. When the dad asked the mom if he could blast, she said No way. 

  • 02
    and he felt like it was unfair that I get away so much. I let him do it last year. He has also been talking about going to World Cup games in 2026 with my brother in law in Mexico, the US and Canada, which I am being supportive of because he loves soccer. A few
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 03
    2019 JAPAN 2019 #RWC2019
    via Stefan Lehner

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    days ago he got it in his head that he wants to do another solo trip this summer because he's off and sick of just sitting around with the babies. We only have part time care for the boys at the moment (daughter is in full day camp) to save money because he's off. Well now I'm all of a
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 05
    sudden the bad guy because he wants to run off on another solo trip sometime in the next 3 weeks and I shut it down (I actually gave him the finger as my response - but I jokingly tell him to off all the time and he takes it well). I'm
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 06
    working, we don't have full time child care, and it's honestly just a lot with the 3 kids. He has now turned it into me being the bad guy and all of a sudden he's furious at me. AITA?
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 07
    ETA I have not traveled for business since having the twins. I have only been back at work for 6 weeks and have declined 2 travel opportunities already because I felt it wasn't the right timing yet. I have no travel booked at this time but that will change in the coming months. I had one girls
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10531741696
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    weekend away since the twins and offered for my husband to have a guys weekend. I even asked my brother in law to reach out with him to arrange it because I felt bad that I left him with the 3 kids for a weekend. As for the "let" him part - it's not about being a parent or
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
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  • 11
    controlling what he does - it's about a mutual respect. That we respect each other enough to make sure the other one is comfortable especially because we have two babies that need a lot of hands on care and are not yet sleeping through the night. I wouldn't just plan a trip without checking in with him and he does the same.
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 12
    Also ETA that he's a great father and super hands on the vast majority of the time.
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  • 13
    Possible-Tip-3544 How many solo breaks do you get?
    via u/Possible-Tip-3544
  • 14
    Forward-Two3846 THIS!!! like TOP travels FOR WORK and her husband is saying he is owed solo trips because his wife travels FOR FREAKING WORK. UGGHHHH. AND he gets summers off with part- time care for the twins and the oldest in school. If anything OP is owed time off from the family.
    via u/Forward-Two3846
  • 15
    DJinKC I travel FOR WORK and let my wife take solo trips. It's important for parents to get a break once in a while.
    via u/DJinKC
  • 16
    johnny-Low-Five That's really thoughtful, I am/was a SAHD and occasionally my wife would visit her sister for a night and take our son to play with his cousin. I would tell her that any time she wanted she could go out and my son and I would have a "guy's night", we didn't really have funds for multiple vacations and took those as a family.
    via u/johnny-Low-Five
  • 17
    Most of Reddit is just miserable people hoping to make others miserable too. I love being a SAHD more than any job I've ever had and my wife loves being a nurse. Everyone is different and there is no "right or wrong" answer, OP needs to talk to her husband and figure out what works for them.
    via u/johnny-Low-Five
  • 18
    Fresh Water_95 I get what you're saying because it's work trips, but I think it's more relevant how many days he gets away from parenting. Even a work trip means she's not taking care of the kids and he is. The tone of her post makes it sound like she's gone every month and this getting a break from parenting and household duties and the last time he got that was last summer. NAH, just something two adults should discuss.
    via u/Fresh_Water_95
  • 19
    undercoverhippie 8 month old twins? Uh, no.
    via u/undercoverhippie
  • 20
    Impulsive_Ruminator For real... does he even have a suggestion for what OP should be doing with their infant children while he runs off to wherever??
    via u/Impulsive_Ruminator
  • 21
    avid-learner-bot NTA. It's understandable, really, for him to want a break, we all need time out sometimes. But expecting you to handle everything solo with three young'uns? That's not on, love. Have you thought about maybe planning a family getaway instead?
    via u/avid-learner-bot
  • 22
    BackgroundGarbage325 OP We have two family getaways planned!
    via u/BackgroundGarbage325
  • 23
    SenpaiSigh You've got three kids, limited childcare, a full-time job, and he's mad he can't bounce for another solo vacation? Its not summer break from responsibility
    via u/SenpaiSigh
  • 24
    RedGreenPyro Does he like having a family or...?
    via u/RedGreenPyro
  • 25
    Bay_de_Noc He is sick of sitting around with the babies? Maybe he should have thought about that before he helped create said babies. Your husband needs to put his big boy on and realize his responsibilities come first. You are NTA, but your husband is 100%.
    via u/Bay_de_Noc

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Babies family drama kids mother fatherhood motherhood parenting dad family twins mom Parenting Fail children Father vacation Parenting FAILS
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